Week 3: 4/17/05
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Week 3: 4/17/05
Separation Anxiety
Hello Near and Dear Ones!
How are you holding up? This week marked our third in Hong Kong. Just when it seemed like we were settling in, we had a bit of an upheaval this week as Nathan started school and Michael flew back to North America to check on his vendors and their progress in preparing his show to go into installation in the next month. Which would explain why the website might look a little funky this week, he forgot to train me on how to get it up and running...
School Daze...
Monday brought orientation day at Nathan's new school, Small World Christian Kindergarten. It was a day just for the newbie's starting this quarter. I was excited and anxious to see the school that we chose, sight unseen, based on two enthusiastic recommendations. Orientation was an hour long with the two teachers running through an abbreviated version of a typical school day with Nathan and five other first-timers.
While Nathan was in his class, Benjamin and I had a tour of the grounds and the classrooms. I chatted with another mother who had arrived in Hong Kong from New Delhi, India on the same day we did. In my typical shutterbug fashion, I walked around taking photo after photo to share with Michael and, of course, you. The other mother asked me a seemingly innocent question, "where are you hoping your son will gain entry for primary school?" I replied that we'd be back in the U.S. about the time the new school year would start, and therefore I hadn't really paid any attention to primary schools in Hong Kong. In fact, we aren't sure where exactly we'll end up when we are back in the U.S., so I have no idea where he'll attend school there, either. And, as his birthday is in November, he could still technically wait another year before starting kindergarten if we feel he needs to mature a little more. She sighed deeply, then gently scolded me for moving so frequently, saying it will damage my child's sense of security and self worth if he cannot be allowed to take root in one place for an extended period of time. Uh, well, okay.
To me, staying in one place for an "extended period of time" (our current most "extended" time being the two years we lived up in Fremont) is a not a lifestyle we Chase's are accustomed to. And to be perfectly honest, we weren't thinking so much about the kids "self worth" when Mike took this job, it was more for the kind of "security" that keeps a roof over our head, puts dinner on the table, and gives us the all-important health insurance we need for Benjamin and his heart and kidneys, rather than a long term in-depth plan for my children's growth and development. And the opportunity to live abroad, if only for these six months, is one that not every child gets. I said as much to her, as politely as I could. Her response was that her daughter has already had two years of compulsory education in India and that she can already read and write in two languages and perform sums and that going to Small World and "learn by playing" would be the equivalent to baby school for her daughter, but... (with another deep sigh) all the other preschools were full at this late point and if she didn't enroll her daughter in a school for the next three months, then the prestigious "X" school in Hong Kong wouldn't accept her, and so she's hired private tutors to keep her sharp while helping her adjust to their new life here and she's just biding her time at Small World as a placeholder so there are no gaps in her record. The woman got a truly worried look on her face, and said her husband's company was doing all they could to ensure her daughter a spot at the "X" school, but truly, if her daughter did not get in, her entire educational future would be ruined, she would be destined for failure. Wow. Did I ever feel silly! I mean, there I was, happily snapping photos of the classroom and the snack table and the creative bulletin board that showed all the happy teachers at the "baby school"!
When the kids were finished with the classroom part of the orientation, we were all invited to come out to the playground to let the kids play for a bit. Benjamin just jumped right on in with the big kids, going down the slide head first and trying to hula hoop and skip rope. I watched Nathan's new teachers and how they quietly showed each child individual attention, making little comments about how fast one rode a trike, and how another did a great job sharing the hula hoop with my particularly demanding almost two-year-old. And I watched Nathan happily playing with the other kids he just met 45 minutes before, and how he proudly threw his arm about a little boy, and proclaimed, "Mommy! This is my friend!" And only then did he look at the boy and say, "What's your name?" And right then I knew two things for certain - first, we had picked the absolute best school for our child, and second, that my wonderful son will never have a problem with security or self worth, because through his small eyes, everyone on this planet is a friend just waiting to be introduced.
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby...
For those of you who have school age or older children, can you recall the first day they went off to school? Did you feel like doing cartwheels of joy or did you sit by the phone and anxiously await a dreaded phone call with bad news? Or after dropping them off, did you circle your car back around, and stake out the school during the day to make sure your child was "really" okay?
I have to admit, the first two weeks here were particularly hard on Nathan, and in turn, on us. He is a very social little guy, and he needs to be around what he calls "his kids" on a regular basis. Sending him to school was one of the best things we ever did for him. And I have to say, on his first day of school this year in California, I was actually a little disappointed that I felt no "big" feelings, of sorrow or elation or grief... I just quietly enjoyed getting to know the less vocal of my boys while Nathan spent the day learning and playing and discovering that it's not just mommy and daddy who make him share and be polite. So I have to admit, Tuesday took me by surprise.
To prepare for his new school, we bought Nathan new shoes and an Incredibles backpack. Small World has a uniform, a bright red smock with his name on the pocket. He attends class in the afternoon from 1 to 4 p.m., and a bus picks him up and drops him off. For a month we've been telling him how he was going to take a bus to school with other kids. He has been incredibly excited, asking every single day if it was the day he was going to get to take the bus. So when I finally said YES! Today is the day! He practically split into two he was so happy. I got him dressed in his smock, helped him get his backpack in place, pinned his bus pass to his uniform, took about 35 photos, and then headed downstairs to wait for the bus. It was right there waiting, about ten minutes ahead of schedule. Without so much as a look back or a "bye mom", Nathan bounced on board and into a seat while the Bus Mother got his little five point harness attached to him. I could hear Nathan telling her and the bus driver and the other little boy on the bus how excited he was, how his name was Nathan, and how he had a new Incredibles backpack and he was on his way to school. And then with a series of beeps the bus door closed. Through the window Nathan looked back at me with the biggest smile I've ever seen in the four years I've known him. With the startling dazzle of his pearly whites still burned into my retinas, I watched the bus pull away with my firstborn in this new country to take him to a new school. A sound escaped from my throat, originating from some primal part of me... my very heart was ripped from my chest and was on it's way to a new chapter in it's young life.
Feeling strangely empty and raw, I pushed Ben in his stroller to the onsite grocery store, cell phone gripped in my sweaty palm. I have been looking forward to Nathan starting school, it means I can do more exploring - one child is easier than two. But at that moment, I had to work very hard to continue past the line of waiting taxis, not to go exploring, but to jump in and shout FOLLOW THAT BUS! Instead, I stifled little sobs as I picked up and put back bottles of salad dressing and rolls of tin foil. I tried to reason with myself and say that there was no reason to feel so full of emotion, but in the end, I returned home (with a random selection of groceries) and just had a good old fashioned cry followed by a call to MY mom, who, of course, made everything better.
Since the bus had been so early to pick him up, I arrived ten minutes ahead of schedule for his drop off. I waited for 50 minutes in the rain, every single one of them torture as bus after bus pulled up, all for other schools with other kids for all the other moms who waited along side of me. I had stupidly left my cell phone on the kitchen counter, and I was torn between running back up to get it and staying where I was in case Nathan arrived right when I left. Eventually the bus showed up (the road to the Parkview is under construction causing major delays if you don't hit it exactly right) and this huge grown-up boy bounded off, not my baby who I had waved goodbye to just hours before. He couldn't stop talking and talking and talking and I just listened and encouraged him, knowing one day this same boy will rather die than tell his mom how his day at school was. The rest of the week went just as well, with Nathan bounding from his bed and putting on his backpack, and then looking so crestfallen after I reminded him that he doesn't go to school until after lunch. On Thursday, I finally found the courage to go somewhere while Nathan was at school. I returned to Stanley Market, the site of the boys previous total nuclear meltdown. This trip was totally uneventful, Benjamin slept in his stroller while I bought postcards and looked at all the incredibly cheap children's clothes.
I'm Leavin' on a Jet Plane
Wednesday marked Michael's departure from Hong Kong on a flight to Calgary with his producer. He didn't sleep on the plane and had a hard time sleeping at the hotel. Thursday, my first full day in Hong Kong alone with the boys seemed like the longest day of my life until Friday came. During the morning, Nathan coughed a couple of times very melodramatically, but lately he's been hamming up certain noises that the human body makes, particularly coughing and sneezing. I didn't think much of it and sent him to school. When he came home, someone had stuffed his pockets full of tissue, and he was complaining that his nose was running. I gave his some Benadryl (for legitimate medical reasons, JP!) and sent the boys to bed.
On Saturday morning, Nathan woke up sounding like a hairball was lodged deep in his throat. I had long promised Nathan that Saturday would bring us a trip to Tsim Sha Tsui and the Toys R Us, where we would get him the Luke Skywalker figure that goes with the X-Wing we finally gave him after a year's wait and a filled sticker chart for good behavior. We had purchased the X-wing that doesn't come with Luke or R2-D2 even though the box shows them sitting in the toy, and the disappointment was palpable. I didn't really want to take Nathan since he was coughing, but I also knew the weekend would be incredibly long in Daddy's absence without a field trip or two. Off we went, Benjamin screaming the entire bus ride, then the entire boat ride (prompting a hunched over elderly lady to give the kids candy, which when she wasn't looking I deposited unopened in the trash, making BOTH kids scream, much to the chagrin of the tourists on the crowded ferry). We finally got to the mall with the toy store, and I put Ben in the stroller, which crazy me thought I could manage alone on the bus and ferry with both boys. It was worth it to have in the mall, though, since I only had to chase after one wayward child instead of two running in opposite directions. We found the single last Luke Skywalker (phew!) for Nathan and found a section of the toy store that featured miniature replications of all the Hong Kong forms of transportation, like the taxis and ferry and 16 passenger light public buses. Since both boys are obsessed with the taxis here, I bought one for each of them (doesn't it sound like all we're doing here is buying toys for the kids? Man, these kids are makin' out!). About then, Nathan's cough went from sounding like a hairball stuck in his throat to something large and painful caught in his lung, something perhaps half alive desperately trying to make it's way out.
We beat a hasty retreat, and endured glares from everyone on the ferry back to Hong Kong Island (remember the SARS breakout a couple years back is still fresh in everyone's mind) and jumped off the boat just in time to see the Parkview bus pulling out of the station. Not wanting to wait 30 minutes for the next bus, we grabbed a taxi, which is more expensive but worth it considering I had my backpack, Nathan's backpack, a Toys R Us bag, the stroller and two wild monkeys, er, boys to contend with. We've made friends with the doormen here, and whenever they see me pull up in a cab, they RUN to help me out. This time I appreciated it more than usual. We went in, where Nathan just seemed to get worse and worse by the hour. At bedtime I drugged him with the pediatrician back home's recommended cocktail of Robitussin and Tylenol and sent the boys to bed. Within an hour, I realized it would be a sleepless night, as Nathan's cough was progressing to the point of him not being able to breathe, which would then make him cry, and then make him cough harder. I ran the shower as hot as it would go and held the now feverish Nathan in my lap in the steamy bathroom. Let's just say it was a long night, and I missed Mike more than ever, since there was no one to trade off with when I was near passing out. The worst part was listening to Nathan cry for his dad. Man, it's tough to raise a child. I think you end up with steel in your system on the molecular level as soon as they cut that umbilical cord or else you'd never make it past the first week of parenthood. In reality, it's been an inordinate amount of prayer that's gotten us this far!
Tradition, tradition!
Everytime we move, we have this crazy-fun tradition of enduring one of the kids getting incredibly ill within the first 48 hours of our arrival. In our first week in Japan, 10 week old Nathan got a huge and very nasty eye infection and a trip to the local hospital with a translator. In Fremont, 10 month old Nathan gave us our first exhilarating experience with the barfing flu, bringing up about 10 times his total body mass in a four hour period, requiring a trip to the ER on our second night there. In Lomita, we celebrated our second night with dinner at Mike's parents along with several of Michael's siblings who we hadn't seen in three years and then watched the normally very pink Benjamin turn very white and began to self-incinerate. The old glass thermometer at Mike's mom's house registered 104.5 in his armpit, and in a five month old heart patient this means we're off to the ER with Benjamin for all manner of torturous tests and IV's and needles while Mike's mom spent the night at our new and unpacked house with Nathan. So you can see why despite our severe jet lag, I insisted that our relocation coordinator show us the nearest hospital on our first day here! This time, we broke tradition and waited three weeks for one of the kids to get sick! However, we do have another tradition where whenever Michael is out of town, the children take it as a personal invitation to get sick, so it's good to know some things never change! It's Monday night here, and I'm happy to report that Nathan is doing much better - you can tell by how cranky he is. When he's sick, he just wants to be held and loved. When he's feeling better, he just wants to complain about the color of the wallpaper and the room being too hot and the tag in his shirt being too itchy and his brother touching him too much... I'm counting the days til Michael comes home (okay, who am I kidding, I'm counting the hours, which would be 67 hours and 33 minutes)...
Spring Time Baby Bonanza!
This week brought two brand new little people into the world, and I found out about both of them on the same day! My best friend from high school, Jessica, and her hubby Josh, had their second child, a little girl named Vanessa Grace, making our godson Nicholas a big brother. Yay! And then, later that day, our dear friends Bobby and Jonna had Naomi Ruth, a much longed for and prayed over baby sister for Parker, Kayla, and Jonathan. I just wish I was there to meet these brand new babies! They won't be so brand new when I finally do get to meet them, especially Naomi who will move off to New Mexico while we await our return to the U.S. And the baby bonanza continues - while we are gone, we have three more friends who will add to their families before we come home (unless some of you out there have something you haven't told us yet...). When it rains, it pours, and good thing these are baby showers and not hurricanes! Congratulations!
Coming next week...
To market, to market to buy a fat... uh, excuse me, what exactly is that mystery "meat"? Adventures in grocery shopping (I think we're going to come home really skinny)! And then we answer that burning question: what exactly does Michael do all day? A day in the life of a technical director!
Happy traveling!
Heather, Michael, Nathan, and Benjamin Chase
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This is the door to Nathan's classroom
at Small World Christian Kindergarten.
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The Playroom.
Ms. Ruth is in the green shirt,
Ms. Catherine is in black.
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Ms. Ruth and Nathan.
Ms. Ruth is from Ireland and has lived
in Hong Kong for seven years.
She asked if we were from Ireland,
as she detected a bit of an accent
in Nathan's speech. Ahh!
So that's why we can
never understand him!
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A gratuitous photo of Ben running on the outdoor playground at Nathan's school which I added when I realized that there were no
pics of Ben this week...
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So ready for his first day of school!
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Nathan the incredible boy wonder with
his new backpack.
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The Bus Mother helping Nathan find his seat and put on his five point harness.
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Bye, bye love...
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A triumphant Nathan returns from his first day of school in Hong Kong, speaking three phrases in Mandarin.
Don't ask me to translate, I have no idea!
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The Star Wars X-wing that Nathan has been asking
us to get him for over a year. We finally bought it
a week ago and made him earn it with a sticker chart.
He's saying "Hey, I thought Luke Skywalker came with this, who's flying it?" Ben is just happy because it has a button to press that makes noise.
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When the nice doorman at the Parkview opens the door to the lobby for us,
this is what we see. The white bus takes us to Central Station/Star Ferry.
The red cars are a line of taxis that will take you anywhere you have money to go.
Directly behind the second palm tree from the right you can see the yellow
glow from the entrance to the Park N Shop, our onsite grocery store.
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Michael's view this week:
Surprisingly clear Downtown Los Angeles from plane window.
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Heather's view this week:
Surprisingly clear Victoria Harbor from bedroom window.
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It's a Girl!
Baby number 1: Vanessa Grace
with big brother Nick, our godson.
Vanessa's mommy and daddy are two of Heather's oldest friends, Jessica and Josh.
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It's a Girl!
Baby number 2: Naomi Ruth.
Naomi and big sister Kayla, and big brothers Parker and Jonathan will be moving away from California with their mom and dad, Bobby and Jonna, before we get back! We are sooo
sad about this.
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